E.G.G.S

      They say eggs are the best form of protein. The 'perfect protein' it seems. In fact,any other protein's quality is decided by comparing it to the Egg. Pages and pages of textbooks have been written to enlighten the value of the egg. Great.
      But i.hate.eggs.  Really.
        My first memory of tasting it was when i was around 11-12yrs old (and had joined the school's junior basketball team). Mommy decided that i needed to boost up my protein intake and i better started eating eggs.
        She made a superb looking omlette and served it with 2 slices of toasted milk bread ( one of the most delicious produce of our neighbourhood bakery). I loved the looks of the dish. But my taste buds refused to allow a second morsel. So i ended up eating only the toasts leaving the omlette almost untouched.The same thing happened with the cheese,extra cheese,masala,onion and paneer variations of the original.
      Since then my mommy has been on a mission called will-do-anything-to-make-my-daughter-like-eggs. After i relegated the omlette, Mommy brought in the 'Scrambled'. This time, apart from the taste, i also hated the appearance. I was and still am extremely uncomfortable at the sight of the limp,fried,yellow and white,small tit-bits lying helplessly, begging to be consumed.  So after a few weeks, mommy came up with the desi version of scrambled- The Anda Bhurji. Now the poor-little-yellow-and-white-bits were covered up in red masala,spices,condiments with onion and garlic pieces and fiery lal teekha powder and electrifying green chillies. I instantly gave 10 on 10 to the smell and appearance.But again, the taste wasnt radically different from its western counterpart. So i bid adieu to the legendary anda bhurji too.
      But my mommy is a strong-willed woman. Not the one to easily give up. After a few weeks, she announced that she had cooked something amazing for breakfast. Amazing it was....big,bright yellow dollop,right in the centre of a snow white circle. This is cool...i thought......unless i smelled and then tasted it. Sadly,the Sunny-side-up didnt prove sunny-enough for my taste buds. Never mind,mommy said. We will try something else.
      So a few days later she made egg-curry for dinner and served it with steaming fulkas. Now,the orange-red curry with onion slices and sprinkled corriander and lemmon is irresistible for most. I was no exception. I smacked off the entire curry,but left the eggs to their own.
      After that,for last 12-13 years i have been trying eggs in different shapes,forms and colours. I have tried the bun-omlette,the egg-biryani, egg-burger,fried egg, egg sandwitch, chapati-omlette and million other egg-things.But they have failed miserably in pleasing my taste buds. Or maybe its just me.
      I simply prefer my humble sprouts or wedge of cheese or glass of buttermilk (with some jeera powder)  when it comes to eating proteins.
     After years of trying and trying and trying, i have finally given up.

      But mommy is still hopeful :-))) 

      Mommies are like that only :-))))
     

Beauty lies in the eyes of............WHO EXACTLY ????

             I believe when they say its a mad mad mad world. Mad enough to numb off all its senses and accept/follow/apply all the latest trends as a compulsion or obsession. I mean this all the more when it comes to beauty.
             My closest friend,my chaddi buddy, was about to get married. So we had countless shopping sprees, going to posh saree-lehenga boutiques, going on the 'Oh sooo amazing' ,'I waaaaant this', 'this is gonna look super fab on you'  mode countless number of times and moving through the city shopping for matching-matching bangles,heeled and non heeled matching- matching sandals and million such oh-so-girlie things (which i forever enjoy).
             Until one day( which was 1 month away from the wedding) i met my friend to plan our furthur shopping strategy. 'Chalo chalo jaldi ....appointment hai' she said. Arey but we have alredy given measurements to darzii and alteration clothes are coming day-after. 'Arey baba, its my bridal ka appointment re. Just come na.'
              Knowing her for last 20 years, i know when she says 'just come na' she is in real disstress/hurry.No further questions, straight into the auto which took us to an up-market building. 'You know its very new. They have world class proffessionls'  Wow...dats gonna be something...
            Well...it was SOMETHING.  Plush spa-parlour-salon spread over at least 25000 sq. feet...Orchids and scented candles all over with a sky-blue wallpaper.  Whilst my friend spoke to the reception about her package-details, a lady with orange lipstick walked up to me and asked what my package was. 'Oh....no...no . I am not getting married.I am her best friend since kindergarten you know'.   'Ya ya,i know that. But we have special packages for brides' friends. Go through it'   She handed me a thick glossy book full of package details and against each of them were their costs which were obscenely sky-high. For a moment i thought if this spa- thing was a big commercial failure. Who the hell would come here?
          Until we were led into the waiting hall which was OVERFULL. Brides-to be, their friends,their sisters and moms,their friends and many such decked up female-souls with at least 2 make-up products applied on their faces, who had maddeningly fat bank accounts apart from a common sense of inadequacy about their looks, which they thought would be fullfilled by dishing out thousands in this place, which claimed to make them beautiful.
          My rendezvous with beauty parlours has been limited to threading once a while and pedicures when my feet scream with fatigue for a massage(Once a while means once in 6 months.) I had a face cleaning done with another friend once and hated the experience. So this scenario was so new to me.
        My friend asked me to select which facial i wanted to do. 'arey main theek hoon. Jo hai,acchha hai. Tu bolti hai toh pedicure karwati hoon.'
We were both ushered into 2 different rooms. I was making myself comfortable in a huge,pure-teakwod arm chair, when the orange-lipstick entered the room,this time accompanied by a lady with purple lipstick. While the purple lipstick set up the massager-machine,orange lipstick spoke to me. ' Baalon ka kya haal bana ke rakha hai madam? Kaise ho gaye hai? Hair-revitalize package le lo'. Until that moment in time, i was extremely happy and satisfied with my long,little bit limpy,with a few split ends hair. Okay,they were not as half good as the spa's brand ambassador model's. But hey...i am not a model. I am real woman and should look like one na.  'Aaj kal trend hi hai madam. Cream bath for hair and oiling sessions with hair-root therapy. 4 hafton mein ekdum acche ho jayenge'   Hello...wo abhi bhi acche hi hai...aur mujhe pasand hai. But saying that would look rude. So i smiled and said phir kabie pakka.
          By now my pedicure had come halfway. The orange lipstick continued to articulate the benefits of hair-packages and i kept nodding violently. Now, the purple lipstick began to speak. 'Madam lagta hai bahut stress ho gaya hai aapko. Skin dekho aapki'  Obviously,i have passed my final MBBS exam and passing there requires hell lot of integrity which any medical student will vouch for. 'Kitney saare muhaase ho gaye hai dekho....skin polishing karoge to 5-6 sessions mein kitna farak padega. Kareena kapoor lagogi...Aap hai hi itni sundar..'   Jesus.....3-4 breakouts here and there dont account for 'Kitney saare muhase'. Plus, i dont imagine myself going bare- midriff on the road and dancing on 'Mere foto ko seene se yaar,chipka le saiyya fevicol se' at least in this existence. So why this comparison/standard- setting??
          We left the salon after both of us were done with our jobs. My friend was going to come here EVERYDAY for next 3 weeks for her beauty treatments which meant i would encounter orange and purple lipstick and other lipsticks everyday. The whole day i moved around with a heavy heart. Till then i had considered myself to be quite good in my mind, but here,these women wanted to fix my hair,my skin and had a package for every body part.
         Are women today that ugly?? I dont think so. We are all inherently beautiful. But the modern definition of beauty means 'Following the recent norms set up by some celebrity/model'. And this exactly has made all of us feel so inadequate about ourselves in every department-hair,skin,weight etc that we are willing to give an arm and a leg to treatments/packages/schemes which claim to beutify/better them???There was a size zero craze,then came long straight hair,then short layered hair and then curls. Some day it will be Boy-cut.
        I have nothing against salons. They are a great way to unwind. But getting hooked/addicted to them just in the hope that they will make us look better is a big crime that we are doing against ourselves.So gone are the days when beauty lay in the eyes of the beholder. Tody,we ourselves need to think of ourselves as beautiful and confident and only then shall the beholder think so.
    Truly,its a mad mad mad world :-)))